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This week’s journal prompts are a little different. To wrap up our week focused on relationships, we created these prompts to be done once as a conversation with YOURSELF, reflecting on your relationship with you AND then also as a tool for discussion and reflection with another. It can be your partner, your best friend, your mom - someone you want to deepen or strengthen your relationship with, and who has an openness do doing this. This is all about approaching the relationship with the intention of co-creation, of support for each of us in our vision. ⁠ ⁠ Here are a couple of notes as you go through the exercise: ⁠ *When you’re doing this exercise as a reflection on your relationship with yourself, be as honest as you can. Sit with each question and observe what comes through. ⁠ *When you’re doing this exercise with another, take time to let them express themselves, ask clarifying questions. Hold time and space. Keep in mind some can still be figuring out what it is that they want to experience, and it can evolve and change. This is not about what are you going to “give me” or "contribute to the relationship.” It is about their experience and the intention to co-create and support.

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Little did I know when growing up, that relationships would be my number one source of growth and learning about myself. In the spirit of our focus on relationships this week I am sharing two of the biggest lessons I’ve learned: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Our partners reflect back to us the ways we need to look at ourselves: Realizing this was a big moment for me. I went through a long period of time where I was attracting unavailable, non-committal partners. I was so frustrated and always asking, "why won't they commit?!" It all shifted when I started working with an incredible coach who helped me understand that these relationships were a reflection of myself. I was emotionally unavailable, fearing commitment and therefore, I was attracting partners with the same issues. I had to do a lot of inner work and to really understand why I was scared of the real thing. Once I did that, the real thing did show up and my partner is committed fully, available and so am I. If something is bugging you, look in the mirror - chances are they're showing you a reflection of yourself to help you grow. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When you're used to drama, healthy relationships can feel off at first: The Holistic Psychologist says that "Healthy relationships can feel boring." She says that sometimes the butterfly feelings in relationships can be so exciting even in the most toxic, dramatic relationships. It resonated with me. When you're used to the feelings of constant ups and downs and not knowing where you stand, a secure, peaceful relationship can feel like there's not enough excitement. I had to learn this for myself when entering into a secure relationship and I realized that this type of relationship is exciting but not in the ways I've experienced it in the past. Without all the drama that was once distracting me, I now have the space to focus on myself and how I want to grow individually and in the relationship. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Have you experienced these?

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Hi guys. This week’s podcast with relationship and attachment coach @xoamandabliar has been one of our most-downloaded, so we hear you that this is a topic that resonates! In that spirit, Kat and I thought we’d share with you some of the lessons we’ve learned about relationships (of all kinds) along the way. Here are some of the aha’s I’ve had from some great teachers and gifts of experiences :) ⁠ ⁠ Releasing expectations. On episode 16 with SriMati we explored the idea of having relationships without expectations - but what does that actually mean, doesn’t it sound really hard? I learned that it’s about releasing our idea of what we think someone else needs to do “for us.” When we detach from the expectation of what another owes or needs to do for us (or what *we* think they need to do for them) - then we are in the space for fulfillment and growth. We are there to support those we care about in their own evolution, to co-create with those we love. ⁠ ⁠ I remember talking to a spiritual teacher a while back and sharing with him that I felt someone I cared about wasn’t showing up for me in the way I expected. He said “are you showing up for yourself?” I went silent. It was a huge realization. I really hadn’t been showing up for myself, listening to myself. Now, if I feel another isn’t meeting my expectations, I ask myself: am I meeting my own expectations? ⁠ ⁠ Attaching meaning. Byron Katie says that "we don't hear what people say, we imagine what they meant." I often check myself and notice if I'm attaching my own meaning to something being said. If I am, I reflect on why. ⁠ ⁠ Space and boundaries. Someone else’s boundaries are not a personal attack on you. Okay, maybe that sounds extreme, but it is so common - particularly for those who were modeled super close relationships in childhood where there may not have been a lot of boundaries - to think that holding a boundary or not sharing every part of your existence is wrong. It is not. Holding and respecting boundaries is the foundation of strong relationships. ⁠ ⁠ Have you felt any of these? Let me know what you think!

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It all comes down to our subconscious self worth. What do we really believe about ourselves on the subconscious level? It comes through in our relationships, our work experiences, finances - all of it. There are ways to shift into higher self worth. There are things we can do that make it less of a 'nice idea' and more of a tangible practice. ⁠ ⁠ Hear our full conversation at the link in bio, with relationship coach and manifestation pro Amanda Blair.

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Attachment theory helps us understand the style with which we attach to our partners, the dynamic we bring to relationships - as informed by the way our caregivers responded to and were *attuned* to our needs from infancy. We explored attachment styles on this week’s podcast with relationship expert @xoamandablair as she shared how to understand your type, and what it might present like. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ A couple of key takeaways for us were: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ -Presence and attunement to needs are different things! Parents are often doing their best to be present and there for us - but attunement to the needs we felt is deeper and different. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ -You can have more than one of these types coming through for you - most who have either anxious or avoidance have a bit of the other, too. You can have both presenting. AND you CAN do the work to move move into secure. It’s a spectrum. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Check out the episode at the link in bio for more on attachment theory, manifestation for new and existing relationships, and more with Amanda!

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Amanda Blair is a relationship coach with an approach rooted in elevating self worth and incorporating the principles of manifestation. ⁠ ⁠ We dug in with Amanda on the different attachment styles (anxious, avoidant, and secure) - how we can understand which one we are, how it happens that way, and what we can do to navigate into a secure style. ⁠ ⁠ We talk about how self worth and manifestation are directly related along with what we can do to call in what we want. We discuss why we never have to settle in any area of our lives - why this comes up for so many and what happens when we really free ourselves from this construct. ⁠ ⁠ +much more. Check out the full episode at the link in bio. ⁠ ⁠ <3

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